Spam Mail

Dear Sir,

I am Simba Imarilia III born in a small middle eastern country called Faek, and my father has been held captive in the Faek federal prison for a few years now. Our country is so small it is not on most maps yet, not even google maps, so don’t bother looking. I have been living impoverished lifestyles even though my father has €10,941,095,744,907,594,375.87 in a Swiss bank account. That is the number he tattoed on my ass because we have no paper here in Faek. Most of that money was gathered by fraud and sending similar emails like these to dumb people who just started their first email account. Many after my father have tried to do the same, so we collect copyright fees too.

But that is not the point. Our Faek International Bank recently closed down due to the financial crisis, forcing it’s 10 employees to be retrenched and jobless. So now I have no bank account to transfer the money to, and I cannot start bank account overseas because our country does not issue passports. Except China, I think they don’t mind us so much, but I don’t speak Lebanese so I am unable to communicate with them. So now my father’s money is frozen in Switzerland and I feel like picking someone special to give that money to. And you are that someone (plus I also emailed 5089 others), but you are more special. (Except Jay Leno, he is really something special.)

So please give me all the details of your bank account and I will transfer everything to you. Because you are special and you deserve it so much. Even though I have never met you, I feel like I’ve known you forever. You don’t have to know how I know so much about you, just trust that this is fate.

Look forward to your favorable reply and have a nice day.

Yours TRULY,

Simba

~ by seow on November 16, 2008.